Recently I’ve heard many a story from many a friend regarding many of an affair. And when I say a friend, I don’t mean “a friend”, I mean real actual persons who really actually exist.
It appears to me that my friends “never do this”. They never have affairs, or cheat on their girlfriends, or break their lover’s hearts.
Least when their doing the dirty deed they actually say to the other dirty deed doer “I never do this”. For your information, this logically contradicts itself. To never do something means to never have done it. If you’re doing it, then you cannot say you’ve never done it.
To all my friends who have affairs and cheat on their significant others I have some advice.
1) Learn what a hyperbole is.
2) Stop saying you never do this, because you’re doing it, so why put another lie on top of everything else? However, you are welcome to say “I almost never do this” to the person you’re cheating with. Then again, that just makes you seem a little slutty though, doesn’t it?
3) Be honest with yourself and with the person whom you will likely break the heart of. Chances are you are cheating for a reason- figure that reason out and either fix it or let go.
4) Always use protection, and I don’t mean the pill. Last thing the victim needs is to catch some STD (or STI) from your lusty actions.
That is all. Enjoy your hyperbole- the gross exaggeration that you “never do this”.
Have a great day.